The come back

So we go to the lake to talk and she tells me that she had slept with a fifty year old man, she was shooting drugs again with her EX husband and she was in her words” self destructing” she had a girlfriend that had just got out of prison staying with her. (Both living at her mother’s trailer) so it was my girlfriend and her son, the prison friend and her daughter, and the Momma all in this trailer. Not one of them had a job. I had decided long ago that I would not see her be destroyed by drugs so I reluctantly told her the only way I would help is for her to go to rehab and I would move back in and take care of the kids while she was away. So we decide to break contact with the people we were both fooling around with and do this rehab thing. well the prison girl takes off with one of her guys that just gets out of jail leaving the daughter with us, the Momma takes off to love bomb her new supply moving right in with him. Leaving me the two kids and my girlfriend. I take her to rehab and work while raising the kids while she is in rehab. she only gets to stay 16 days. I was supposed to have help from her family while she was gone. What a joke. Not one lifted a finger. I didn’t expect it or even ask. I did it all by myself and was proud to do it. Oh the Momma came by to ask for money that’s about it.

She gets out of rehab and we do well for a few months before the drinking and the drugs come back into our lives. Our fights get much worse, horrible names and violence was the norm. the prison girl come back long enough to use with her and for her to get caught from a random drug test by her P.O. then she’s in the wind leaving her daughter once again with us. Until the Momma finds out she can’t get any money from the state so she rips the daughter away from us to move her into her boyfriend’s house.

Then one day I am Home from work and two people come and knock on the door, she is off at work and our boy at school. I answer and say can I help you. (this is three and a half years into our relationship.) They ask if my girlfriend was home and I say “No”. Then they ask If I am Mike and I say” yes I am” they proceed to tell me that they are her EX husband’s parents and that he Overdosed shooting up heroin and had passed away on 04/20/2016. the previous day. When I came back to take her to rehab I told him as long as he was using and I was around that he would not be around his boy. this was a year later. We had not heard anything at all from him. So I call her and tell her to come home from work quickly and I tell her EX had died.

She gave me a look like she hated me. This was the first time I had met our boys Grandparents, I told them how sorry I was and that we would help in any way we could. we were at a divorce lawyers office a few days earlier but legally they were still married so it fell onto her (us) to get his body released, make arrangements for the funeral at our cost since he had no insurance. So I did the right thing and helped as much as I could. As I watched her play the inconsolable widow. I know that sounds harsh of me but hindsight is 20/20. It was a total act though I didn’t know why at the time. My dumbass thought is was because she was waiting on him to get off the drugs so she could leave me and go back to him. She let me believe that, but the truth was way more sinister. My total focus went onto our boy, he had lost his father at six years old. I felt so much pain for him and he did even more with no way to express it really. I tried to curb my personal feelings and be there for him and her, she was off getting sympathy from everyone else and could care less about him much less me, that’s fine by me, watching and hearing the acts from her really turned my stomach, she was gone at his families a lot these next few days and left us at home. It took longer because of the circumstances in which he died. The coroner had to examine him and do toxicology, Detectives had questions. He was with many people at some Hotel in Knoxville and there was some discrepancies in their stories.

This is how her true self had started to really show, this is where I started to  SEE the cracks. I know I sound like an uncaring asshole at this point her Husband ex or not had died at 33 years old, the father of her son, she should be upset, that’s normal!!! Believe me that played in my mind a million times. The problem was she wasnt upset, The problem was her facade was crashing down, her two separate lives were being thrust together and she couldn’t stop it from happening. Mind you I was still unaware of this then. I would watch her go from just fine to inconsolable on a dime, I thought ok that’s expected, but it was only around his family never hers. around hers she was exactly the same even when they were obviously upset. Around The detectives, around the funeral home staff she was totally different, not in a stressful situation different, I mean a total different women. Jumping ahead a little for an example,when her P.O, came I was holding our boy he would not let me put him down for days, she asked my girlfriend who I was. We had been together for three and a half years, living together for most of them other than the few weeks we split up all those times, Her and her EX husband had the same P.O. My girlfriend tells her “Oh that’s his friend”. She had been to our house for home visits. I was always gone at work.  She didn’t even know of me. I say to our son “Did you hear that?” he says” yeah we are friends, best friends” I say “yes we are buddy, but good luck to Mom explaining how a six-year-old has a forty-year old friend” and we walk away.

This repeatedly happened with everyone that came around, I was finding out that I was hidden in her life outside of our home, No one even had heard of me even though they knew of her and her son, current things, I was just left out

Days leading up to funeral



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